To Mike or Not To Mike...That is the Question

by Dotti Templeton

Should you have your officiant wear a microphone during the ceremony? Maybe, maybe not.

I never used to use a mike (or mic)...I just didn't want to deal with it...the loud feedback, the ugly big thing standing on the floor between me and the couple, the outages, the set up and breakdown time and the worrying about it behaving properly for the whole ceremony.

Wireless mikes are convenient, small and inconspicuous, but are prone to static and not transmitting if there's interference in the area. A large wired mike makes me feel like a lounge singer and requires one hand to hold it. That means I have only one hand left to hold my book, then I need a third hand to hold the rings. The big-headed floor-stand mikes take up a lot of room and have to be positioned just right to capture all the action, so you find yourself talking to the mike instead of to the couple and the guests.

Then one day, after a venue had supplied one of those big floor mikes that didn't work (I always test the equipment before the ceremony...the only thing worse than a big intrusive mike, is a big intrusive mike that doesn't work,) I was walking down the aisle after the ceremony and overheard a few of the guests talking. The wedding was indoors with about 180 guests, and several of them were saying how beautiful and personal the ceremony was (which I liked) but the other guests were saying how disappointed they were that they couldn't hear a word (which I didn't like.)

For me, this was a turning point. I spend a lot of time composing a ceremony, the couple spends a lot on the wedding, the guests spend a lot of energy to get there to hear the ceremony, the couple and I want the guests to hear it, so more and more frequently, I've learned to deal with the mike.

Most often and whenever possible, the venue, deejay or band will supply it. I find that the musicians equipment is usually better than the venue's, so ask your musicians first. I tie into their systems, which use mostly the small wireless, clip-on type of mike positioned on my robe in such a way that the guests can hear both me and the couple. For those times when a mike can't be provided, I've purchased a small, portable system that's battery operated so I can take it to beaches, parks...just about anywhere. But it means charging it up, lugging it around, setting it up, breaking it down...so I like to use the musicians' mike if I have the option.

For a wedding with under 50 guests held indoors, you may not need to mike your officiant. But you need to remember, sound travels differently outdoors, so even a small gathering may have trouble hearing your ceremony if the officiant isn't miked. You don't want him/her to have to shout in your faces so that the guests can hear...you kind of lose that sense of intimacy.

Another reason to use a mike outdoors is because you're much more likely to hear sounds you wouldn't hear if you were inside...trains, planes, automobiles, kids, birds, dogs and garbage trucks all make plenty of noise and can strike at just the wrong moment. The un-miked voice of your officiant is no match for many of these sounds. Even the rustling of trees can be loud enough to keep your guests from hearing the ceremony.

If you'll be outdoors and your officiant won't be miked, talk to him/her beforehand about pausing patiently until the noise subsides before continuing the ceremony. One drawback of using a mike outdoors is wind. The mike will transmit it, and it isn't pretty. By the same token, voices don't carry far in the wind, so you have to choose which way to go when there's more than just a breeze.

Indoors, a mike is helpful for 25 to 50 guests and a must if there will be many more. Sometimes, there's feedback (that loud, piercing sound that makes everyone put their hands over their ears). Sometimes it stops transmitting or the sound comes and goes. You have to realize that these things might happen and your officiant has no control over it. But mostly, due to new technology, everything goes fine and everyone can hear, the couple is happy, and the officiant is pleased when everyone tells her how beautiful the ceremony was.

Ask your officiant about using a microphone and if he can supply one, if necessary. Ask if he's ever used one before...it helps to be experienced. The first time I wore one, I held my ceremony book up against it at the end of the ceremony to applaud the couple and it made a loud, thump thump thumping sound throughout the church. I was looking around trying to figure out what that obnoxious noise was, and it was me! If your officiant has never been miked before, ask the deejay to give him a few pointers, like, don't tell any secrets while you're miked because they will no longer be secrets.

To mike or not to mike. Now that is the question you're more prepared to answer.

Dotti Templeton, Wedding Officiant
www.Poetic-Ceremonies.com
Westchester County, NY

Candles vs Wind...

by Dotti Templeton

...the wind always wins.

The Unity Candle ritual has been a favorite of many couples as a way to celebrate their becoming one in marriage during their wedding ceremony. For the uninitiated, the custom is for the bride and groom to each light one larger candle from their individual tapers. Sometimes the tapers are lit by the couple's moms. This custom, although traditionally Christian, has become popular in interfaith and secular weddings as well. The officiant, (that would be me) says a few words to accompany the ceremony.

Anyway, the ritual started in churches...places that are usually pretty still, so the candles always held their flames and the symbolism was never lost on the couple and their guests. As time went on and couples got creative and moved their ceremonies outdoors, they took their candles with them.

Unlike the controlled environment of a church, the great outdoors is ruled by Mother Nature. Now, she likes weddings as much as the next guy, but she has a sense of humor and so many other important events to consider (like the wishes of sailors and the growth of flowers) that sometimes by pleasing one constituent, she messes up the plans of another.

At a wedding, rain is easy to deal with...we go inside or hide under a tent. We say things like "Happy is the bride the clouds rain upon." Breezes and wind are another matter. We generally try to tough it out and stay outdoors even though chairs are blowing over and the bride's gown is flying up in the air. There's just something about us humans that makes us determined to beat the wind.

Well, tough as we may be, candles don't always share our enthusiasm for outdoor weddings. You can see where I'm going with this. If you have your heart set on lighting the Unity Candle outdoors, I'm going to try to talk you out of it. Aside from the controlled laughter that you hear behind your backs every time the candle blows out, you risk setting yourselves, or at least your blowing veil, on fire unless it's completely still. And even when everything is calm, you never know when a gust will drift by, snuffing out not only your flames, but your symbolism.

So what was supposed to symbolize two lives joining as one, winds up being one life joining as one, or two lives not joining as one, or no lives at all. When this happens, I say a little piece about how this is reflective of marriage...how you don't always know what's going to happen next but you learn to support each other and roll with it. Unfortunately, that's not usually the message the couple was trying to convey; it's an obvious save at best. I haven't been able to come up with a good save for the bride's veil going on fire, though.

So if you want a ceremony outdoors, there are many other beautiful, meaningful rituals you can consider. You're sure to find one that will say what you want it to say and you won't have to spend the night before your wedding glued to The Weather Channel.

Dotti Templeton, Wedding Officiant
www.Poetic-Ceremonies.com
Westchester County, NY