Is the Robe Religious?

by Dotti Templeton

When I perform a wedding, I wear a robe and a stole. I have a vintage black robe which I wear most often, and a custom-made white one that I always use for baby blessings and outdoor summer weddings, unless the couple prefers something different.

I also have a blue robe for nautical weddings, and a green one just because somebody some day may ask for it.

The stole is the long piece that goes around the back of my neck and hangs down in the front on both sides. Most of the stoles I wear are not religious. I designed one to have a short verse of romantic poetry on it that I wrote, and another in beautiful blues and greens which I wear most often in the summer.

If a couple prefers a religious stole, I have a simple white one with a gold cross, an Interfaith stole that displays about twelve symbols of various religions, and one that looks like stained glass that I use for Christian weddings around Christmas time.

Some couples ask if the robe itself has a religious meaning. The answer is yes and no. Judges often wear robes to officiate secular weddings. Graduates wear robes as a sign of achievement and dignity. Neither is religious. The religious part comes mostly from the stole, unless the robe is specific to a particular faith. Mine is not.

The robe and stole signify that the wearer holds a position of some kind of authority....in the case of an officiant, the authority to legally marry two people. In my eyes, wearing a robe is a sign of respect for you and your guests. It adds just that touch of importance and a bit of tradition to even the most unique wedding without being stuffy or formal.

Although I would perform a wedding without wearing a robe if asked, I've never had a couple request that I do so. If your officiant's appearance matters to you, it's important that you discuss it with him or her during your first conversation so that there are no surprises on your wedding day.

Dotti Templeton, Officiant
www.Poetic-Ceremonies.com
Westchester County, NY