by Dotti Templeton
Many moons ago, in the days when I got married, (and they used to say things like, many moons ago), guests would throw rice at the newlyweds as they left the church (in those days, very very few people got married at the venue where the reception was, or in a park or at the beach.)
Rice, and historically other grains (which was before my time), are symbolically linked with fertility and and prosperity. Hence, the theory was that if you threw grains at the newly-married couple, they would become both fertile and prosperous.
I don't know how well it worked, but the ritual lasted for a long time. Of course, somebody had to clean up the rice after everyone left. At some point, the administrators of such things at churches rebelled and said "no more rice. It makes a mess and I'm tired of cleaning it up."
Then the bird lovers said "The birds can't eat the rice. But if they do, it will make them sick." So, instead of throwing rice, people started throwing birdseed. The idea was that the birds would eat it and the church people wouldn't have to clean it up.
Sounds good on paper. But the birds didn't always eat it, or you'd have swarms of birds eating it, or it would draw rodents and bugs, or someone could slip on it, or the birds would poop all over the steps....well, I could go on and on, but the point is, throwing birdseed was eventually banned as well.
What could the guests throw at the bridal couple now that rice and birdseed were no longer options? Confetti? Big mess. Bread? Goose problem. Leaves? Would be tough to find in winter. Water? Well, maybe at the beach. Bubbles? Yes Yes Yes, bubbles are perfect!
Of course, you don't actually throw the bubbles, you kind of blow them toward the bride and groom. Very pretty, very clean, and as far as I know, no church, venue, or park has outlawed them. And it kind of looks pretty and you're not pulling grains or seed out of your hair and clothes for the rest of the day. You might suds up in a rain storm, but there's gotta be some downside.
Anyway, what I want you to remember is, before you start handing out rice or seed or any other small messy items to throw at your wedding, double check with the venue to be sure they will allow it. It would be embarrassing to have all your guests frisked and stripped of their seed just before you make your grand exit.
But if, by some chance, you manage to find a place (your own backyard?) where you can throw whatever you want, (and do), have your groomsmen or some good friends explain to the happy crowd that they should not throw it AT you, but rather, they should loft it...in other words, throw it upwards so that it comes down upon you. Rice or seed thrown directly into your face stings, and makes for most unpleasant pictures.
Dotti Templeton, Wedding Officiant
http://www.poetic-ceremonies.com/
Westchester County, NY
